Oh man what a day...

Okay so today I talked to my dad about boarding school, and he asked me to move in with him part of the time. I think he realizes that part of the problem is from my mom - not the school. I haven't tried that in the past because his wife after my mom was horrible [they finally got divorced last spring], and before that I didn't want to because I felt like he had abandoned me when he left my mom.

He just took off. No warning, just an empty house when we came home one day. Both of his cars were gone, and all of his clothes and everything were gone. My mom and my sister and I had gone somewhere, and when we got home, we knew that there was something really wrong because he had closed the garage doors, which he never did. I was only three, but I remember that day like it was yesterday. It's amazing how you can remember days like those so well, even fourteen years later. I think I finally trust him again enough to move in with him - at least for part of the time. It's going to be so weird because I've never lived with him before. Even though I hate living with my mom, I still can't imagine living with him. I've always just spent every other weekend over there, and even then I barely ever spent the night so it'll be a huge change.

I don't know what it will be like, but it's gotta be better than this. I think the last few months have done some damage that will never be undone. My mom and I have just said too many things to each other that you can't take back. I just need a new start. I'd like one for school too, but I guess if this is all I can get, I'll take it. Who knows what will happen, but I'm just going to make the best of whatever comes out of all this. The last six months have just been a blur for me emotionally, and I guess I'm starting to just get used to some pretty big aspects of my life changing.

Telling my mom was not pretty though. She took it to mean that I hate her, but I really don't. I actually think she is a good person on the inside. I'm just afraid that once school starts back up, we'll start to fight like we did last year, and I can't take that right now. Plus, I would like to have a relationship with her in the future, and I don't see that happening with the way everything is going.